What happens when one commits suicide?

timthumbIf you have seen the movie “The Matrix”, where Neo chooses to come into the illusion of the matrix… at any time that he is within the matrix, he has the choice to go back to the absolute reality whence he came, through the  means of a mere phone call. Life inside of the matrix was something he chose to undertake, for a particular experience that he couldn’t have when he was on the other side, in the absolute realm, where he had all the knowledge but not the experience.  And therefore, as he enters the matrix he engages in an altogether different dimension of reality, the reality of duality. Trinity his constant companion keeps showing him possibilities that he wouldn’t consider otherwise. 

When we talk about suicide we are talking about exiting the matrix, in essence choosing not to complete the game of life that we came here to play, basically quitting half way… It is not necessary to reinstate the fact that anyone has this choice; we all know that we do.  Others may try to stop us, convince us otherwise, inspire us to give life another chance, but ultimately our lives are in our own hands, the choice to live is a choice we make each day, to breathe, to eat, to play, to engage in life and so on and so forth…

So now that we know we have the choice to stay here or go elsewhere, the question remains why would anyone choose to exit midway and if someone does so then what happens after?

Life agendas

Before we take a closer look at suicide, it is necessary to understand why we incarnate into life in the first place. Just like Neo knowingly chose to come into the matrix so as to fulfil a specific agenda; everyone who takes birth into life on planet earth chooses to do so in order to fulfil a particular agenda at the soul level…

Life is a choice and so is death! If you know why you come here on earth and how through your life lived you are fulfilling your own soul agenda and then no matter how stuck or hopeless you feel on your life’s journey, you on your own accord would not consider suicide as an option. From a soul perspective, we not only choose to be born but we also choose the circumstances and situations under which we want to be born; we choose our parents, we choose a particular soul group or belief system to incarnate into, we choose the people we’d encounter in life and the way we will meet them, the struggles which will define our experiences, planetary positions at the moment of birth etc. so all those situations could remind us or rather lead us on the path we wish to walk in any particular lifetime. A life agenda, for example, could be to experience unconditional love; a soul that chooses this agenda may hence first experience all kinds of painful relationships where love is limited and conditional, so those circumstances can give birth to the desire to create unconditional love. It is by dint of the contrast in this dual reality that we are reminded of our life purpose and the experiences we came here to live. Another life agenda could be to bust dysfunctional belief patterns within a particular tradition, culture, society or soul group.  Yet another agenda could be to help others who are stuck somehow find their way or teach them about love; this particular person may choose to come for a limited time and leave early. Another life agenda could be to have an experience of forgiveness… this person will encounter people hurting him, so he has a context to forgive them. Both the person that hurts and the one that is hurt have made a pact to do so at a soul level before birth so their life agendas could be fulfilled mutually here on earth. There are many complex agendas being served all the time through our lives lived in each moment… it is futile to try and understand life agendas; rather it would be a better use of time to live life fully, engage in it totally and discover our personal legends. For now just know that there are millions of different agendas that we come here in physical life to live and give the experience to one another, that cannot be achieved in the absolute realm.


So does that mean it’s all fate and pre-destined? Not really! Free will plays a large role in the experience of life, so we may also have a chance to experience the act of creation, being extensions of source consciousness or God… in fact it is through the exercise of our free will that we can play this game of life even better. Those circumstances in which we choose to be born aid us on our path, but ultimately it is through our free will and choices we navigate life, make decisions, create our paths and through the walking of that path we realize our destiny.  So life in essence is a mixture of our higher selves creating certain circumstances for us so we may be reminded of our life purpose, plus our own conscious choices exercised through free will that creates our life experiences here on earth. We are the creator and the created! Therefore, we choose to incarnate into this duality, and consciously forget why we do so, our life purpose hence is reminded to us through the encounter of contrasts, which gives birth to different desires and it is through the vehicle of those desires we make new choices and thus navigate life, fulfilling our personal legends. For example, let’s say person A is born in very impoverished circumstances… his entire life may be a struggle to overcome poverty; it is however the poverty that gives birth to the desire of experiencing abundance. With this desire nagging at his core, he will now make new choices that would cause him to experience abundance. However, we also live in a reality where the law of attraction operates like a mirror. So oftentimes what happens is when we are living the hard reality we focus so much on what we don’t have, or resist what we do have, that we keep experiencing the same old struggle again and again and it seems like our hard times would never end, basically we feel “stuck” and unable to move forward. What we resist persists. What we focus on grows. To understand more about the law of attraction and its intricacies, read my article titled The laws of manifestation.

The law of attraction was put in place in our 3 dimensional reality so as to help us understand how life is working as a mirror, so we can see the mirror reflection and if we don’t like it, make new choices to change the reflection. But what happens most times is that when we see a mirror reflection we don’t like, instead of consciously choosing to focus on something different, we become afraid of the reflection, we try to avoid it, and by doing so we focus more energy into it, we resist it and hence keep attracting the same life experience again and again. Fear attracts fear. This is when one may actually experience the illusion of being “stuck” and powerless to change his circumstances; hopeless this person may contemplate suicide in order to escape the struggle, in other words choose death over life.

However, when we know that everything in the universe is our own creation we will also know that there is no escape. This very knowledge is enough to negate suicide as an option.  Essentially, there is no vacuum in the universe. Everywhere we go we will see and face our own creations. In other words, a void dance does not exist. We live in a conscious universe. It is not all just energy and matter; the universe has a soul and we are all extensions of that soul.

We all know that the universe is expanding… have you ever wondered what the universe is expanding into? If the universe is all that is, then for it to get bigger there has to be a larger universe holding the smaller universe, right? Now you may understand consciousness better. Everything is consciousness… you have an entire universe inside of you…. The universe expands, when you expand… when your thoughts about yourself expand… and by dint of this expansion we experience ourselves. So wherever you go, you will find your own creations, and you will have to deal with them… there is no escape in this universe, not in life and not in death.  Why would you want to escape that which you chose to experience in the first place? We are all an extension of God, of source consciousness… and we come here to play this game of life, to have an experience of ourselves, to self realize… we are in essence god, godding… god experiencing godself! In Sanskrit there’s a saying, अहं ब्रह्मास्मि: aham brahmasmi, meaning I am the absolute or I am divine!

And so everything is a choice. Birth AND death. In the absolute sense, every death is in fact suicide, because when we finally choose to cross over to the other side we feel that this particular lifeline is complete, so we intentionally choose to die or exit a particular lifetime and we make this decision at the soul level which is often unknown to the conscious mind. To learn more about death and what happens after, read my article titled What happens after death? The three stages.

What happens after suicide?

Now that we have established the conditions of birth and death, let us do an in-depth review of suicide and what happens after. Since suicide is ultimately nothing but death, the conditions and circumstances after suicide are not that different from the process of death itself. However, in the instance of suicide something very surprising happens. Let me explain: we know that any soul that chose to incarnate into a particular life had a specific agenda in that lifetime. At a point in that lifetime, if that person or “incarnated soul” chooses to exit his life in physical form, when crosses over instantaneously realizes that there is in fact no escape, because the lifetime he just left was of his own choosing and thus, he would literally give himself another lifetime with exactly the same circumstances, challenges and situations to come back here on earth and continue on his journey towards expansion, but now he would have to do it all over again, from square one! All the obstacles he overcame until the point of suicide, he would have to re-live them in the next lifetime he incarnates into! Hence suicide literally is like pressing the restart button on your computer!


To draw analogy with a real life metaphor, imagine you are at school appearing for your final exams in grade 7. You pass all subjects but fail in mathematics. You cannot go to grade 8 without clearing that core subject. So you would literally have to repeat the entire grade seven for a whole year right from scratch, and once again appear for the exams in all subjects and clear all of them in order to go to grade 8. So suicide can be compared to failing that mathematics exam in grade 7. Now you come back to do grade 7 all over again, from start!

When you see life from this perspective, you will know that suicide although an option is indeed futile… because in life and in death, we are constantly creating and co-creating, choosing our next vehicles of expansion through the physical life. However, when you come here, you are not always consciously aware of all this agenda stuff but your higher self knows it and constantly guides you towards it. If you are in alignment with your higher self, you will intuitively know your life purpose and agenda. But many people are not aware of their higher selves, and thus may feel stuck or stagnant within the physical definition of things, when faced with big life challenges. This may block the energy centers or chakras in their physical bodies and they may experience the stagnant energy as the manifestation of diseases, which actually strives to bring us back on track. That is why you will see many terminally ill patients when they recover from a life-altering disease, their entire lifestyle changes; diseases serve to make us participate in life more, so we can live a purposeful and joyful life… in the end every experience serves to enrich life, because from the absolute point of view, you can never fail! And hence in that regard, suicide is pointless because you will not consciously choose to escape what you yourself came here to live. However, you are always at a place of choice. If you choose to leave, who can make you live? 

Case study

If you want to know more about suicide, there is a book by world-renowned Dr. Brian Weiss (MD) titled Same Soul Many Bodies, where he progresses a patient to the possibility of suicide to have a glimpse of the consequences. Let me present here briefly this particular clinical case study of Dr. Weiss in my own terms…

Dr. Brian Weiss is a psychiatrist, hypnotherapist and past life regressionist. For many years he successfully regressed his patients to past lives, until he met a patient who was suicidal. Not knowing how to handle this situation, Dr. Weiss decided to try future progression for the first time in his career with this patient. He hypnotised this patient to future possibilities in order to have a glimpse of the outcome of his choice to commit suicide or not. The first option was if he did commit suicide what would happen then?  What the patient saw surprised both the patient and doctor. He saw that as soon as he “died”, he gave himself yet another life with exactly the same situation & circumstances and started all over again. Not only that, what he saw next surprised him even more.

He considered himself as a failure, a burden to his family and incapable of providing for them which was the reason he was contemplating suicide that he thought would free them of the responsibility of having him in their lives. However he saw quite the opposite… when he “died” his family members blamed themselves for his death and felt miserable at having “failed” to be there for him. Instead of relieving them of the pain he thought he was causing them, his act of suicide caused them even more pain and trauma. He then also progressed into the second option of living through that difficulty that he was trying to escape and what now surprised him was how he emerged on the other side of that obstacle wiser and more mature and those same circumstances he was trying to avoid were in fact his biggest gifts in life that would eventually influence his future in the existing lifetime in a very positive way. So now having a larger perspective, this patient decided to live, and not take his own life! 

There have been many doctors and researchers like Raymond Moody, Elizabeth Kübler-Ross, and others who have done in-depth studies on death and dying and explained the phenomenon of death in great details in their books. And suicide is literally like pressing the reset button on your life and doing it all over again! Neale Donald Walsch in his book, Home with God, explains that every death is in fact suicide because in the end we all “choose” to die at a soul level, when we feel our life agendas are complete at any particular lifetime. 


No death happens against our will, not even accidents or terminal illnesses… Some people die a few times before they make the final decision to cross over, so those earlier deaths are not really deaths… they are called near misses; people who come back from coma, fatal accidents, or terminally ill patients are those who literally make an about turn and come back to life as they decide they aren’t complete and still have more expansion to do in their particular lifetime. No death happens against our will and no death happens in vain. Everything has a purpose and a place here on earth and beyond. Yes consciously we may not always be aware of it, but our higher self always knows it.

tfOne can choose to tune in to the supraconscious level of the mind, which is death consciousness, through meditation or other mind focus techniques and can have this knowledge in physical reality. But focusing on it may not be the best way to spend our time here on earth… instead it is better to engage in life fully and reap its fruits, both sweet and sour, for a real rollercoaster joy ride!

So now that you know what suicide really is and what happens after… the question remains, would you choose death over life, or life over death? Your answer to that question will define your experience, and that will be your own creation!

“Life is eternal, and love is immortal, and death is only a horizon; and a horizon is nothing save the limit of our sight!”

~Rossiter Worthington Raymond

Author: boi

Hi, I am a storyteller; I tell real stories about real people to fictitious characters!

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