Right now most relationships on our planet are experienced as some kind of a deep emotional attachment, whence all the power struggles, control dynamics, judgement, manipulation, domination and dysfunction arise. We primarily feel these emotions in our stomach, where the solar plexus is. As humanity learns to raise this emotional energy to the heart center, we can move from the conditional experience of love on our planet to unconditional love. When this kind of ascension happens, we may literally feel physical symptoms like heart burns, chest pains, shortness of breath, panic attacks, other aches, pains, lumps and bumps in our bodies. Because when the vibrations are rising, the physical body needs to adjust to them, as it becomes more and more subliminal and disease free once we move to that state of consciousness.
When we love someone truly, we consider them as a part of ourselves, not apart. Hence we will automatically care for them and take their needs into account as our own. Fulfilling our partners’ needs will make us happy because we know it makes them happy; it is mutual and symbiotic. When that happens, the dominance, the power imbalance, the pretense, the violence, the vengeance, the vehemence may finally be released from our consciousness and we may experience a relationship where two people are together out of choice and not compulsion, where people do things for each other because they want to, not because they have to. Judgment vanishes and compassion births. We may still feel negative emotions like rage, anger, worry, anxiety, grief, etc. in our heart space, but they won’t be destructive, harmful or manipulative forces, like they are now. Rather we can invite our emotions to inform us where or how we are hurting, so we can consciously resolve them within, instead of blaming another for our unhappiness or loneliness; because, emotions are our internal compass and tell us exactly where we stand in terms of our states of being at any given moment.
In any kind of abusive relationship, even the very subtle forms of abuse, where the victim-control dynamic is played out, and one party is always blamed for abusing the other, what essentially happens is that both parties involved feel powerless in the relationship. So the so called villain tries to gain power by ‘abusing’ or controlling the victim, and the victim tries to gain power by playing the blame game, the helpless role where she/he can then get attention from others to prove their partner wrong. This might seem radical but unlike vibrations cannot exist in the same space. Although the victim-villain dynamic seems like polar opposites, they are in fact the same vibrations energetically where both parties are at an emotional place of powerlessness in the relationship and try to gain power from the other. Because if this were not so, then one of them will break that connection; there is always choice and there is always help. The reason they both stay in the connection is because they perpetuate this dynamic together and feed each other. But true power does not come from outside of us, it is inside us. When we can recognize the infinite power source within and act from that place of empowerment, then no one outside of us can take it away, and there will be no need for manipulation or control in the connection. This includes people who try to get external power through money, status, name, fame etc. Those things in essence aren’t bad and it is our birthright to be abundant, but when used to manipulate or control others emotionally that is when they can become dangerous. At some level they too may have felt powerless, a victim of society, helpless at the mercy of various authorities early in life, not acknowledging their unique gifts and infinite potential, so they swing to the other extreme, amassing enough wealth or gaining positions of power and then use their status to control or dominate relationships, basically try to gain power. But those external means can leave one feeling empty and unhappy within. That is also why people feel the need to smoke excessively, drink alcohol and binge to distract or escape themselves in the moment. Deep within they still feel scared. Like we all feel. Our society is designed in such a way, marriage institutions, educational systems, political organizations, governmental laws etc. that instead of empowering us, these systems constantly take away our individual and personal power. And we are all vulnerable to them.
A new trend of soul to soul connection is emerging in human consciousness where the traditional relationship dynamics don’t work anymore in these evolutionary partnerships. If we continue in old relationship formats previously programmed by humanity, be it political, societal, familial, cultural, traditional, racial, religious, or trying to give in to these unhealthy expectations and underlying agendas, we will have more people in intense distress, mental turmoil and chaos, even depressed and suicidal. When our love for another is clouded by all these limiting belief systems, the purity of that love is lost. We need to eliminate the aspects from human consciousness that are no longer working, especially the dysfunctional beliefs, if we want to find true happiness in our connection with another. The belief that without a relationship or person, we cannot be fulfilled is a codependent mindset. The universe will keep us alone or if we are in a relationship to thwart loneliness, we will feel even lonelier as our partners will mirror back our own inner vibrations to us, until we learn to give up the attachment and codependency emotionally; then we can attract a true connection devoid of manipulation or other disserving dynamics. When the divine feminine reclaims her inner power, the divine masculine too will rise to his true authentic power; until then power struggles will continue.
Our souls are infinite and cannot be bound by any rules or laws. Unconditional love can only be experienced where there is transparency and authenticity in the game, where neither party hides any aspects of themselves, not even their shadows. When we can be fully intimate with ourselves, another can be fully intimate with us. Intimacy really means into-me-see. Love cannot be compelled. It is free, infinite, eternal, abundant, unrestricted and the most powerful force in the universe.
~adapted from my upcoming book, nrit -the dream of finding the self…