read me 🙂
You can ignore me on the phone but I know you will read this, because you know there’s no way for me to know whether you read this or not 😉
Our souls feed off mysteries and they’re happiest when all possibilities can exist simultaneously… however, we live in a physical dimension of reality where defining our experiences helps make sense of the things happening to us. I want to express some of my sentiments regarding our short time together, based on my own perspective and observations, which are subjective and hence not the only truth as I know there are other perspectives also involved here.
I am a very emotional person, Pat and I feel everything deeply. I like to relive every moment, revive every experience in my mind in order to give meaning to what is happening to me. That’s why I also take my time in getting close to people, because it hurts me too much when they leave… Between you and I, everything happened soo fast, I didn’t really get a chance to pause and ponder what was really going on…
You left so young and I keep wondering why you did that Pat… what was the agenda you came here to fulfill, what meaning your life had for all of us? Intuitively I know the answers still your departure is a deep loss for all of us you left behind. You were a light bearer, young forever… what you taught me is priceless. You were a living example of how to live life in the present… you didn’t need any spirituality, books or self-help gurus to teach you that; you were just naturally so wise! I feel a sense of void, like I lost someone so precious; I know wherever you are, you are fine, but that physically I will never see you again in this lifetime makes my heart cry out in agony…
You were not just special but you were exceptional, exemplary in your ways of being. You lived life king size, and everything about you was larger than life. Did anyone ever tell you that there was something wrong with you? Did anyone ever tell you that you had a disorder called ADHD? No no no they were so wrong, whoever made you believe that… they did not see your spirit. They understood nothing about your soul. They diagnosed a spirit which will not sit still, a soul that came here to revolutionize concepts, to teach us humans the meaning of life, how to really live… no wonder it made you angry and you couldn’t express that directly. I understood your anger tantrums since you perceived so much more, you must have been frustrated with people. While people thought you had a problem, you must have looked back at them thinking they all had problems. Since meeting you, I was synchronistically led to a book about Indigoes and when I read it I felt like it was describing you A to Z.
Patrick Clayton Young, yes you were an Indigo! Your brain was wired differently, you could see more possibilities at any given moment than any normal person. You were not just super talented and gifted, but your IQ level superceded the average by multifold. You were here to break order and collapse structures down, resisting authority. Structure and consequences didn’t make sense to you because you inherently knew the nature of our souls are infinite and cannot be bound by definitions. You acted first, creating before thinking about consequences, trusting the process of life itself, fading out more and more the consequence thought process from human consciousness. You lived like a child. A child is not afraid to do or say anything nor care about consequences; it only knows to seek joy, to play, to be. And like a child, you were extremely sensitive, intuitive, telepathic… popping up in my reality, texting or calling me when I thought about you or missed you deeply. You were so intelligent, intellectual and self-driven. You didn’t care about discipline and didn’t give a damn about rules, regulations or order… being claircognizant you were deeply internally driven with a sense of knowing at your core being, that things happen as they are supposed to happen; so when the outside world told you otherwise, it must have been confusing for you as to why they should rely externally. But this our world is harsh and judgmental because of which you might have had to suffer much just for being the way you were, because most people didn’t understand you or see your core. It might have been hard for you to operate here, leaving you frustrated or making you withdraw, pushing your guards up. Yet you were perceived as someone others could trust because you had such a clean and open heart; you were so transparent and authentic even in your so-called acts of nuisance!
You were very passionate about what you were passionate about! You were emotionally driven and acted on impulse; your emotions created more love, paving the way for a new way of life, a new way of being, a new way of existing -leading, creating, innovating, setting up the vibration that will naturally give rise to a new structure, new thought patterns, breaking attachments, dysfunctional belief patterns and societal moulds. As an indigo you did your job on earth, setting the stage for crystals to carry out your mission forward… You loved like a child, you loved everyone. You interacted with everyone and everyone that crossed your path was left transformed in a big way because you came into their lives. Look at me! In less than a year of knowing you and losing you, my consciousness opened up by leaps and bounds and my life wouldn’t be the same without your contribution in it. I am happy I knew you for good 🙂
Oh how can I describe you, Pat? Here’s an experience with you: so we decide to go to the supermarket… we get onto the car, on the road you see some people you think are interesting and get off to chat them up, then you get back into the car and now you are hungry… you stop at a restaurant to grab a meal and some candies then you continue in your car… on the way you stop by at the mall to get some new clothes that tease your fancy, flirt with every girl you encounter and you drive on; now you see a bmw station and you want to drive one (!) so you get a bmw for a few hours and go on a long drive and by the time you get back you’re exhausted; you fall asleep in your car asking your friend to drive and that’s how you get back home! We never went to the supermarket!! Haha wow Pat, I marvelled at how your brain worked. I was fascinated by your restless wreckless mind. You never never worried about the future or dwelled in the past… you did not take on any expectations or responsibilities from others; you lived like a child only in the present and did whatever pleased you in the moment, including throwing tantrums! That’s how you lived, moment to moment. That’s all your life consisted of: moments and you maximised them, magnetized them, monetized them! I wish I could live like you, I struggle so much to be in the now, to forget my worries and just enjoy the ride. But I will not let your example go in vain; I shall strive with all my might to live life like you, queen size! You faced so much opposition and challenge yet you showed us, with the example of your life lived, how to grab the life you have now and make the most of it while it lasts coz you never know when you are gone! I am aware it must have been frustrating for normal people to be with you or understand you, just like it was for me and yet you paved a new way of being for all of us who crossed your path.
The butterfly counts not months but moments, and has time enough. ~Rabindranath Tagore
I will never forget you Pat, I cannot… you will always have a special place in my heart. You not only transformed me, but you showed me a whole new dimension to life. I felt like we might have had some important work to do… you inspired my work heavily. You prompted me to delve deeper, to see the gifts within you; look I even wrote a blog post about ADHD, read here: ADHD is a gift! I know that you know that I wrote this for you. Wish I could show it to you while you were alive… I keep thinking of the tattoos you had on each arm saying, forever young… you left so young, barely 30. Why, you once even told me that you were immortal!
Your specialness, how can I tell the world? As an indigo, you were a ray of hope for us. I always believed you had a bigger purpose, a spiritual mission to help see humanity its own light. I guess in your short life span you already achieved that. Your death is a loss to humanity. I keep wondering if you had lived longer, how much more you could have done… but in trying to lift the suffering of others, I guess you suffered much; I knew you weren’t happy. I cry out in pain wondering what kind of pain you might have gone through prior to your demise. And I cannot control the pain within me…
I have traveled all over the world, came in contact with perhaps a million people, people of all kinds, cultures, colors, creeds, customs and credibility… yet I haven’t met anyone like you. You intrigued me; oh you were pouring with gifts for humanity but it took us mere mortals so much time to understand you or even acknowledge your specialness. You just knew how to create the magic, always and all ways… oh Pat, I miss you so much!
And I know that you know that. That’s why you came to visit me in the form of a borboleta; you came and sat on my shoulder and walked with me for as long as I needed to know it was you… you found a way to find me even after you left this world. I recognize you and acknowledge you; keep visiting me and pouring your wisdom into my being from time to time Pat, be my spirit guide; that way we will stay in touch. Coz I don’t wish to lose you, ever! I love you so…