The magical wedding statements

People cried when they heard this… it was being administered simultaneously in German, at the wedding of Katrin & Max; I was a make-believe priest and it was the best ceremony ever, for everyone who was present there!

These magical, heart touching wedding statements (not vows) were adapted from the book Conversations with God by Neale Donald Walsch, and I had so much fun customizing them for my dear friend Kat…

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Baisakhi’s speech in the Black Forest (Schwarzwald)

September 7, 2008 

Wedding Ceremony, conducted by the Minister (Baisakhi) for Max and Katrin

Me (Bai):

Max and Kat have not come here today to make a solemn promise or to exchange a sacred vow.

Kat and Max have come here to make public their love for each other; to give noticement to their truth; to declare their choice to live and partner and grow together-out loud and in your presence, out of their desire that we will all come to feel a very real and intimate part of their decision, and thus make it even more powerful.

They’ve also come here tonight in the further hope that their ritual of bonding will help bring us all closer together. If you are here today with a spouse or a partner, let this ceremony be a reminder-a rededication of your own loving bond.

We’ll begin by asking the question: Why get married?

Max and Kat have answered this question for themselves, and they’ve told me their answer. Now I want to ask them one more time, so they can be sure of their answer, certain of their understanding, and firm in their commitment to the truth they share.

(At this point I will get two flower garlands)

This is the Ceremony of Flowers, in which Kat and Max share their understandings, and commemorate that sharing.

Now Kat and Max, you have told me {it is your firm understanding that you are not entering into this marriage for reasons of security…

…that the only real security is not in owning or possessing, nor in being owned or possessed…

…not in demanding or expecting, and not even in hoping, that what you think you need in life will be supplied by the other…

…but rather, in knowing that everything you need in life

…all the love, all the joy, all the happiness and all the strength…resides within you…

…and that you are not each marrying the other in hopes of getting these things, but in hopes of giving these gifts, that the other might have them in even greater abundance.}

Is that your firm understanding today?

(You both say, “It is.”)

And Kat and Max, you have told me it is your firm understanding you are not entering into this marriage as a means of in any way limiting, controlling, hindering, or restricting each other from any true expression and honest celebration of that which is the best within you-including your love of life, your love of people, your love of enjoyment (Genuss), your love of food, or any aspect of your being which genuinely represents you, and brings you joy. Is that still your firm understanding today?

(You both say, “It is.”)

Finally, Kat and Max, you have said to me that you do not see marriage as producing obligations, but rather as providing opportunities…

…opportunities for growth, for full Self-expression, for mutual support in whatever situation and for showing the world what you already know – that you were meant for each other.

…This is the beginning of a journey through life with one you love as an equal partner, sharing equally both the authority and the responsibilities inherent in any partnership, bearing equally what burdens there be, sharing equally the joy that it brings.}

Is that the vision you wish to enter into now?

(You both say, “It is.”)

I now give you these flower garlands, symbolizing your individual understandings of these Earthly things; that you both know and agree how life will be with you in bodily form, and within the physical structure called marriage. Give these garlands now to each other as a symbol of your sharing of these agreements and understandings with love.

What symbols do you bring as a reminder of the promises given and received today?

(Kerstin comes with the rings – handing them over to Baisakhi)

A circle is the symbol of the Sun, and the Earth, and the Universe. It is a symbol of wholeness, and of perfection and love, and life…that which has no beginning and no end. And in this moment, Max and Kat choose for it to also be a symbol of unity, but not of possession; of joining, but not of restricting; of enrichment, but not of entrapment. For love cannot be possessed, nor can it be restricted. And the soul can never be entrapped.

Now Kat and Max, please take these rings you wish to give, one to the other.

(You take each other’s rings.)

Max, please repeat after me.

I, Max…ask you, Kat… to be my partner, my lover, my friend, my wife…I announce and declare my intention to give you my deepest friendship and love…not only when your moments are high…but when they are low…not only when you remember exactly Who You Are…but when you forget…not only when you are acting with love…but when you are not….

It is my intention to be with you forever… in whatever moments of darkness may come …sharing all that is good within us…with all those whose lives we touch.

(I turn to Kat.)

Kat, do you choose to grant Max’s request that you be his wife?

(She answers, “I do.”)

Now Kat, please repeat after me.

I, Kat…ask you, Max… (She makes the same vow)

(I turn to Max)

Max, do you choose to grant Kat’s request that you be her husband?

(He answers, “I do.”)

Please then, both of you, take hold of the rings you would give each other, and repeat after me: With this ring… I thee wed… I take now the ring you give to me… (You exchange rings)…and give it place upon my hand… (You place the rings on your hands)… that all may see and know…of my love for you.

(I close…)

We recognize with full awareness that only a couple can administer the sacrament of marriage to each other, and only a couple can sanctify it. Neither any church, nor any power vested in me, can grant me the authority to declare what only two hearts can declare, and what only two souls can make real.

And so now, inasmuch as you, Kat, and you, Max, have announced the truths that are already written in your hearts, and have witnessed the same in the presence of these your friends and your family, -we observe joyfully that you have declared yourself to be…husband and wife.

Let us now join in our wishes for Katrin and Max.

Spirit of Love and Life: out of this whole world, two souls have found each other, Their destinies shall now be woven into one design, and their perils and their joys shall not be known apart.

Max and Kat, may your home be a place of happiness for all who enter it; a place where different kinds of people meet and rejoice, a place for growing and a place for sharing, a place for music and a place for celebration, a place for laughter and a place for love.

May those who are nearest to you be constantly enriched by the beauty and the bounty of your love for one another, may your work be a joy of your life that serves the world, and may your days be good and long upon the Earth.

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Notes:  I met Katrin at my University in Singapore (NUS), where she came as an exchange student from Germany.  Later I also met Max, her then boyfriend, now husband first in Singapore and then I visited them in Germany.  Our friendship was so close that she invited me to her wedding as the priest!! haha Kat loves food and it was the most unique wedding we had ever witnessed.  My favorite place in the world is the blackforest in Germany.  She had reserved a place in the blackforest for her wedding and invited her friends from all over the world, especially Asia, where she went traveling during her exchange.  Everyone who came cooked one or two dishes from their country and in the end we had soo much food that it could feed five wedding feasts, not mentioning the incredible variety, flabour and spices that went into it, makes it the most unique experience for anyone who was there!

Since Kat likes cultures, she wanted to exchange flower garlands like we do in Indian weddings… so we went around the blackforest ‘schwarzwald’ picking the tiny dandelion weeds, hundreds of them and spent the next six hours, involving six people, making the most incredible flower garlands for the bride and groom.  You should have seen the expression on Kat’s face when she saw them for the first time at her wedding ceremony…. total WOW!  Kat and Max loved the garlands so much that they did not remove them after the ceremony; they wore the flowers the whole day, flounting to all their guests and anyone who showed even an iota of interest in them! 😉